Forgive Me
by MythGirl Writes
Summary: Kaede ponders her actions. For Misery Martini on Ao3 for the Saimatsu Exchange!


**One of the five gift fics this year! I hope yall enjoy!**

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The classroom was a bit colder than Kaede expected it to be. Maybe it was a draft from the windows, or maybe it was the chills she kept getting when she thought of her plan. She had no way to be sure which it was.

It had to be the latter, though. She was so anxious, she could barely think straight. Her heart rate spiked, forcing her to draw in a deep breath. What if her plan didn't work? What if everyone blamed Shuichi for it instead?

What if they all died because of it?

She vaguely registered Shuichi saying something about the door in the back of her mind. "Hm? Yeah." She wasn't looking at him; she didn't trust herself to not word vomit and come clean about what she was planning on doing.

Even when he was talking about the receiver, she wasn't paying much attention. At least, not until he said she would be better at it than him. "Why do you always say things like that?" she asked him, finally twisting in her seat to face him. When he couldn't form a full response to that, she continued. "Actually, I've been wanting to talk to you about that. Good thing we have a little time, right?"

"Talk to me?" She wasn't sure why he seemed confused. Out of all of their classmates, he was her favorite person to talk to. Didn't he know that?

"I think you should be more confident in yourself, you know? I mean, the Ultimate Initiative selected you as the Ultimate Detective."

He got that look on his face, that look he always got when he would say something about how he wasn't good enough. And sure enough, he did. She knew him well. "They shouldn't have. I'm not a real detective."

It was frustrating to her when he did that. He wouldn't listen to reason, no matter what she said. Didn't he know how amazing he was? "Shuichi, you're so much more than you think."

"But I'm not. I didn't even really want to be a detective." She listened to his story, how he solved his first murder case. It was fantastic, in the most literal sense, and she couldn't understand how he didn't see that. It also confirmed her suspicion that he would need help- her help- in order to expose what she was about to do. Maybe if she pushed hard enough, he wouldn't need that help.

She glanced down, saw his hands trembling on top of the desk. She wouldn't deny that hers were, too, but for a different reason. Slowly, almost hesitantly, she took his hand in hers. It was a little strange to everyone else she knew in her life, how she could express herself better through music than through words or body language. If she thought hard enough, maybe she wouldn't need a piano there.

"Shuichi, one day I'm going to play you 'Clair de Lune' by Debussy. It's soothing, calming… It always reminded me of the moon's reflection on a lake. Something nice like that." his eyes shifted to her hand, her one free one clenched in a loose fist on her lap. A small smile crept onto her lips. "You noticed? I'm shaking, too. If it weren't for you, if I weren't talking to you, I'd be a total wreck. I wouldn't be able to do anything."

Anything. Like the murder she was about to commit.

"I'm glad you're here with me. You've given me so much courage, enough to face the mastermind head-on."

Enough to murder the mastermind.

"So, please...be more confident. I believe in you, you know? You should believe in yourself, too."

A moment passed, filled with silence. Slowly, he looked up, making a little eye contact from under the brim of his hat. He had gorgeous eyes, that was for sure. "I'll...I'll try."

"That's all I ask. Trying is better than not trying, right?"

Which was why she had to try to end the game before anyone could die.

They stayed like that for another moment, his hand in hers. If it were any other situation, she might've changed the subject to, oh, maybe her not so small crush on him. But right now, that would only serve to distract them both. She couldn't afford to be distracted right now.

She cleared her throat and let go of his hand. She had to have her wits about her when the receiver beeped. There could still be a while until that happened, though. Maybe she should talk about something else?

The door was still open a crack, of course. She glanced outside, seeing nothing but a bare hallway. Nothing interesting there. Not too long after, the only monitor in the room flared to life, spewing some awful music at top volume. "The time limit is almost up," Shuichi noted, a hint of panic laced in his voice. She couldn't deny her own nerves. Would the mastermind even show up?

"Hey, Shuichi." She didn't know why she was talking. Why was she talking? She had to focus. But now that she had his attention, she couldn't just not say something. "I'm really glad I met you."

That, as well, caught him off guard. He ducked his head again, their eye contact already broken. It was nice while it lasted. "I'm glad I met you, t- wait, do you hear that?"

"Voices...from the hallway?" The shot put ball in her backpack seemed to weigh heavier as they glanced out the door. Kaito, Gonta, Maki, Tenko, Angie, Himiko, Rantaro… What were they doing? Did she run the risk of hurting one of them instead of the mastermind?

And Rantaro… Didn't he say he was going to end the game? Was he planning something similar to her? Or was he the mastermind himself?

This was so frustrating. She was doing this for herself, for Shuichi, for all of them. Couldn't they just stay out of the way so she could save them?

"I'm going to check on the library," Shuichi said suddenly, shoving the receiver into her hands and standing. "They might scare the mastermind away!"

"I'll come with you," she offered quickly, but he shook his head.

"No, stay here and keep watch. I'll be fine, don't worry." Without looking back, he dashed out of the classroom. She was alone.

Alone.

But she wouldn't be, not after this.

She would be with him, and all of their classmates.

Nobody other than the mastermind had to die for her to accomplish that.

All she had to do was take matters into her own hands.


End file.
